🕊️ Spiritualism −11%

I'm Looking Through You: Growing Up Haunted: A Memoir

✍️ Boylan, Jennifer Finney
Reader Score
4.5
(1 review) 153 sold
$15.99 $18.00 Save $2.01 (11%)
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📚 WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT

Jennifer Boylan's poignant memoir navigates the eerie reality of her childhood home, the 'Coffin House,' genuinely haunted by unseen presences. More profoundly, she explores the internal 'haunting' of growing up in a body that felt misaligned with her true self. This candid narrative weaves together literal ghost investigations with a deeply personal journey of self-discovery, forgiveness, and understanding the echoes of family. Boylan masterfully connects the spirits of her past to the person she became, seeking peace with both the supernatural and the deeply personal specters of identity and loved ones.

🕊️
Spiritualism

Praise for this book

“Probably no book I've read in recent years has made me so question my basic assumptions about both the centrality and the permeability of gender, and made me recognize myself in a situation I've never known and have never faced....The universality of the astonishingly uncommon: that's the trick of She's Not There. And with laughs, too. What a good book.”
— Anna Quindlen, from the introduction to the Book-of-the-Month Club edition
“There's quite a story here. Ms. Boylan tells it with disarming humor and a sharp eye.... She's Not There...brings irreverence and a merrily outrageous sense of humor to this potentially serious business....Tender as well as funny.”
— Janet Maslin
“Beautifully crafted, fearless, painfully honest, inspiring, and extremely witty. Jennifer Finney Boylan is an exquisite writer...one of the most remarkable, moving, and unforgettable memoirs in recent history.”
— Augusten Burroughs
🏛 Crown Publishing Group (NY) 📅 2008 📖 288 pages 🌐 en 📐 Paperback ISBN: 9780767921756
Fun Fact
Jennifer Boylan masterfully blends the spooky with the deeply personal in this unique memoir. Readers seeking a straightforward horror narrative might be surprised, as its strength lies in its profound exploration of identity and family, using the supernatural as a powerful, insightful metaphor. It’s an eloquent, often humorous, and ultimately hopeful journey of self-acceptance, positioning it as a significant work within contemporary memoir, particularly for those navigating complex personal transformations.

📝 Description: I'm Looking Through You: Growing Up Haunted: A Memoir

From the famous gender rights activist and bestselling author of She's Not There comes another buoyant, unforgettable memoir--about growing up in a haunted house...and making peace with the ghosts that dwell in our hearts. For Jennifer Boylan, creaking stairs, fleeting images in the mirror, and the remote whisper of human voices were everyday events in the Pennsylvania house in which she grew up in the 1970s. But these weren't the only specters beneath the roof of the mansion known as the "Coffin House." Jenny herself--born James--lived in a haunted body, and both her mysterious, diffident father and her wild, unpredictable sister would soon become ghosts to Jenny as well. I'm Looking Through You is an engagingly candid investigation of what it means to be "haunted." Looking back on the spirits who invaded her family home, Boylan launches a full investigation with the help of a group of earnest, if questionable, ghostbusters. Boylan also examines the ways we find connections between the people we once were and the people we become. With wit and eloquence, Boylan shows us how love, forgiveness, and humor help us find peace--with our ghosts, with our loved ones, and with the uncanny boundaries, real and imagined, between men and women.

💎 Expert review

💎
Esoterica Books editorial team
Occult literature desk
Boylan delivers an intimate exploration of identity and place, weaving supernatural elements with genuine emotional depth. However, readers seeking purely factual ghost hunting techniques or detached academic analysis may find the intense focus on personal memoir distracting. Those uncomfortable with discussions of gender identity or familial dysfunction might struggle with the raw vulnerability presented here. The book is less about proving the existence of spirits and more about using them as a framework for self-understanding. It requires an openness to subjective experience rather than objective proof, making it unsuitable for skeptics demanding empirical evidence of the paranormal.
✓ EDITOR'S REVIEW

📖 Why choose it

📖

Why this book is worth reading

Readers seeking a profound synthesis of personal growth and supernatural mystery will find this memoir deeply resonant. It offers a unique lens through which to view the intersection of identity formation and environmental atmosphere. Those interested in how family history shapes one's present reality, whether through literal ghosts or metaphorical echoes, will appreciate Boylan’s candid approach. It is ideal for individuals navigating their own sense of self-alignment, providing comfort in the shared human experience of feeling haunted by the past. The narrative serves as a gentle guide for understanding forgiveness and peace amidst lingering specters of both home and heritage.

⭐ Reader reviews

The starting rating comes from the team Esoterica Books —
⭐ Esoterica editorial review Editorial rating 4.5/5
★★★★
If you're drawn to memoirs that blend the supernatural with profound personal journeys, or seek stories of identity and family, this book is for you. It offers wit, eloquence, and a deeply human exploration of what it means to be haunted, both literally and metaphorically.

Reader rating

4.5
Based on 1 reviews
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Esoterica Books editorial team

Boylan delivers an intimate exploration of identity and place, weaving supernatural elements with genuine emotional depth. However, readers seeking purely factual ghost hunting techniques or detached academic analysis may find the intense focus on personal memoir distracting. Those uncomfortable with discussions of gender identity or familial dysfunction might struggle with the raw vulnerability presented here. The book is less about proving the existence of spirits and more about using them as a framework for self-understanding. It requires an openness to subjective experience rather than objective proof, making it unsuitable for skeptics demanding empirical evidence of the paranormal.

❓ Frequently asked questions

While it features genuine supernatural events, its core is a profound memoir about identity and family. The literal haunting serves as a powerful metaphor for personal transformation rather than pure fright.
Not at all. This memoir stands entirely on its own, providing a candid and accessible entry point into her writing and personal journey without requiring prior knowledge of her other bestselling books.

📖 Who should read this

If you're drawn to memoirs that blend the supernatural with profound personal journeys, or seek stories of identity and family, this book is for you. It offers wit, eloquence, and a deeply human exploration of what it means to be haunted, both literally and metaphorically.

🎯 Key themes and symbolism

Supernatural Encounters

The author vividly recounts unsettling experiences in her childhood home, known as the 'Coffin House,' where unexplained noises and fleeting apparitions were commonplace. She revisits these occurrences with a group of earnest, if quirky, investigators, blending the eerie with a touch of humor as she seeks to understand the literal spirits that shaped her early years, grounding her personal narrative in the realm of the supernatural.

Identity & Transformation

Boylan courageously examines her experience of gender dysphoria, perceiving her birth body as a form of personal haunting. The memoir traces her journey from 'James' to Jennifer, detailing the profound internal struggle and eventual liberation. It's an intimate look at the process of becoming one's authentic self, making peace with past identities, and finding wholeness amidst the echoes of who one once was.

Family Legacies

The narrative portrays Boylan's parents and siblings as significant figures, particularly her enigmatic father and spirited sister, who become metaphorical 'ghosts' in her memory. She reflects on their impact, the complexities of family dynamics, and the process of achieving understanding and forgiveness. This exploration highlights how familial bonds and unresolved histories continue to influence our present lives, shaping our personal hauntings.

📜 Historical context

This memoir sits at a fascinating intersection of genres, building on traditions of both classic ghost stories and deeply personal narratives of self-discovery. Published in an era of increasing visibility for transgender voices, it contributes a unique perspective to the canon of LGBTQ+ literature, weaving in elements of supernatural inquiry that resonate with the enduring human fascination with the unknown.

📚 Glossary

Haunted body
Coffin House
Specter

📔 Questions to reflect on

  1. Reflect on a 'haunting' in your own life—perhaps a lingering memory, an unresolved identity, or a persistent feeling. How has it shaped you?
  2. Consider the 'ghosts' of your own family—the influential figures, unspoken histories, or inherited traits. How do they continue to manifest in your present?
  3. Boylan seeks peace with her past selves. What aspects of your past self do you need to acknowledge, forgive, or integrate to find greater wholeness today?

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